Coffee Is Coffee and Beer Is Beer

 

This blog started as a rage against the misuse of the word artisanal.

Artisanal somehow became a synonym for “unique” or “well made,” and this drove me crazy.  I’ve seen it on products like corn chips and honey.  Really?

But we wore out artisanal.  Now the buzzword is hand-crafted.

My coffee from the local donut shop is apparently hand-crafted because the server made mine as I requested: no cream, no sugar.  Just coffee.  Coffee like I get everywhere.

My beer is hand-crafted because it was made in smaller batches than Miller.  Look.  I make beer in my kitchen.  If you want small batch, that’s small batch.

Food from restaurants is hand-crafted and what you get on your plate is something that looks like a failed architectural model with a sprig of mint placed just so.  Just for you.

Hand-crafted used to mean something substantial.  Today, what it suggests is, “I made this just for you.  You are unique and special.  You deserve this.”

Am I the only one who finds this deplorable?

I don’t need to be made to feel unique in this world when I buy food or beverages or internet content or entertainment or clothing because hand-crafted is a lie.  This stuff is mass-produced.  And I’m okay with it.  Really, I am.  Just serve me the damn beer.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not asking for less quality.  I’m asking for more honesty.  Let’s let coffee be coffee and beer be beer.  Let’s remember that bees make honey, not artists.  I want my steak to look like a steak.

It’s okay.  This is what things are.